What a day. It was slightly better than yesterday, only slightly. It's too much to think about, and it's making me tired. I'm doing my absolute best, but wow. The tears and the emotions are so easily triggered. I didn't feel like working today again.
My mind would lapse back to the past, and it's painful. I reached to an old friend during lunch. One of the supervisors recognized that I was looking rough, so we went for a walk outside. He was in the thick of it himself a couple weeks back. What the fuck? I'm surrounded by this shit. I appreciate the not feeling alone in all of this, but now i know too many people that are not too far off from where I'm at. They can all relate, and that's fine, but it sucks.
As much as I've bullshitted about wanting to see other people, I can't do it. I couldn't even entertain the idea, no way, not in this state.
The holidays are going to be tough, and I wish I had someone around, so I wasn't feeling so lost and lonely.
I miss my big bro. He has been there for me through all this, and I appreciate the time, energy and patience, I really do. We're not even blood related. We've been through a lot together, and I'm greatful to have him around. He's my best friend and the best roommate that I've ever had.
And...cue the rain.
Damnit..is it time to leave yet?
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